careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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