4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They have beer where we have blood.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
