Its about making memories worth repressing
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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