You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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