normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
