Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
