I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
