I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
