Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
