adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
