this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
