I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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