Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
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