This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to calm my uterus...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
