before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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