Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
