It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
