so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
