You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
