After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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