Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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