hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
