We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
