She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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