...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
