is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
