She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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