So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
