Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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