When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
