Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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