My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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