Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
