i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
