I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
