either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
