Are we in a gay sports bar?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
