He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize