Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
