There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize