He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
be right there i have to get my cape
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
