was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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