Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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