her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
