me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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