i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I looked at my own cervix.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
