The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
