Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
