I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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