I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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