Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize