First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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