I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
