Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
