Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
