WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
