I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
