Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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