Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize