Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
