ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
