no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize