how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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