Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
