I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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